Compassionate Feedback: A New Lens for Leadership

When we consider workplace feedback it’s often centered on best practices and approaches, such as ensuring feedback is constructive and delivered in a way that the recipient can receive it well. However, there is another layer to consider in today’s increasingly diverse workplaces — one that acknowledges the varied experiences and backgrounds of the people we interact with in the workplace: compassionate feedback.

Defining Compassionate Feedback

Compassionate feedback focuses on delivering feedback in a way that honors the human in front of you, as recognizing that their past experiences can shape how they receive and process feedback. The compassionate feedback approach is informed by the idea of intersectionality — acknowledging that people’s identities and experiences are multifaceted and diverse. It’s not about assuming that everyone has experienced challenges in life or the workplace; rather, it’s about being mindful that we all bring our personal history into the workplace, and that history can influence our reactions and responses.

Why Compassionate Feedback is Important

In a world where workplace dynamics are becoming more complex, compassionate feedback is essential for fostering trust, improving performance, and creating a more equitable environment. People don’t leave their personal histories at the door when they come to work, and leaders need to understand this to ensure that their feedback is both effective and compassionate.

One example is that trauma, whether it’s “small t” trauma from workplace stress or “big t” trauma from personal experiences, can affect how feedback lands. If leaders fail to consider these factors, feedback might be misinterpreted, ignored, or even cause harm. By taking a compassionate approach, leaders can build stronger relationships with their teams and help create a work environment that feels safe, supportive, and productive.

How Leaders Can Deliver Compassionate Feedback

Delivering compassionate feedback requires a few key elements, but does not require leaders to be mind-readers or dig into the personal lives of team members. As you’ll see below, simply getting to know the people you’re managing and the systems they’re operating in is a great start.

Take time to understand the people you’re managing. This means more than only knowing their job functions — it’s about understanding their experiences and the systems they operate in. For example, I led a project where one of the team members had experienced a significant negative workplace experience. Knowing this, I approached feedback with greater sensitivity, recognizing that even small critiques could feel overwhelming for them due to their past experiences.

Foster an environment where employees feel comfortable sharing their experiences. This will help you understand their context better and tailor your feedback accordingly. However, feedback conversations can be uncomfortable, especially when addressing sensitive topics. Don’t shy away. Lean into the discomfort, recognizing that it’s part of building trust and creating a more inclusive environment — and reachout to your HR team should you need additional support and/or guidance.

Remember that everyone’s experiences are unique. Approach each feedback conversation with the understanding that the person in front of you may have different perspectives and reactions based on their background and experiences.

Every organization has an official culture and an unofficial culture, often referred to as a shadow culture. Recognizing the system your team operates in is essential. How does the organization incentivize or discourage behaviors? What pressures are individuals under? Understanding these dynamics can help you tailor feedback more effectively.

When giving feedback, don’t just present your perspective. Give the individual a chance to share their experience. For instance, one of my colleagues had been conditioned by a previous leader to operate under high stress and anxiety. When I was providing feedback, I initially didn’t realize this, but once I understood her background, I could adjust my approach to be more supportive.

Feedback is not a box-checking exercise. Take the time to consider how the individual might be feeling or what they might be going through. For example, last year, I was struggling to balance work and personal life due to a medical situation with a family member. As a result, feedback didn’t land for me because I was too distracted. But when a leader took the time to acknowledge my personal situation and offered specific, manageable ways to improve, I was able to receive the feedback more positively.

For more on compassionate feedback or how to implement a feedback-focused culture at your organization, reach out anytime – our team looks forward to learning more about your organization and exploring how we can help.